goodmorning sunshine!

Was there a time that you were down, depress, and felt like the whole world is against you?

Well.. I did!

It was the time that I wanted to kill the time, wish there was a time machine, wish I had super powers to stop the time and fix everything.

I can still remember every detail of it.

December 2, 2008. I left my home town to escape from all the bullshits. I was in a hurry to leave, not knowing what will be the outcome of it. I just need to go away.

10:00 a.m., I arrived to my destination. At long last, I made it! It was the time I felt free. I'm having the time of my life. It was the time I told myself that it would be a new chapter of my life. The time I arrived to my new city, I met a lot of people that molded me to become a stronger people and acquaintances that made me realize a lot of things.

The time that I landed my first job in the big city... I wasn't happy at all. Before leaving my home town I was planning to do this and to do that, hoping that everything will fall into the right place. But it was the total opposite! I did not get the job that I wanted, instead I had the job which is very, very, very generic. Now, here comes the first day of my first job. I was just observing the new people that I will be dealing with. They are good though. They are really good people. I swear! This is where I met my first friends in the big city. As well as, my first adventure! My first adventure was when my friend brought me to Carredo. My gosh! The place was so shocking for me. I'm not used in going to this place. It was my first time to step in Carredo. I was shocked at the same time I was happy because this is new to me. I had a lot of fun! My gay friends let me experienced that. Haha! Miss you guys!

I never thought at my first job, I will meet the guy whom I'm gonna be with for seven months. Now, enough with the story. I so sick of it, I had moved on, and I'm happy with what's happening with me right now. The most important thing why he came into my life, it just made me learn that it is not the end of the world. =)

In the early months of the year 2009, I just received a bad news which didn't help me at all. That news was so very negative that made me anti-social. Well, not literally anti-social.. somewhat I just try to distant myself to the people that I really knew. So I just need to keep quiet. I was expecting so much on this. I thought I will be able to get it, but not. I just accepted what's the results and move on. I told myself that it will be it. I just prayed and asked HIM what are his plans for me and I just prayed that HE will guide me along the way what ever tasks that HE will give me.

The sad part of the story is that, my first job only lasted for 3 months! We were dissolved. So some stayed in the company and just transferred to a new account, some part ways. At that time I need to make a decision which will help me in terms of location, accessibility and practicality. So I decided to leave the company and transferred to a new company which is nearer to the place I'm staying. In my new company I was feeling awkward because I still had my hang over from my old company. But then again, I had to move on! So there, I was trying to love the new people that I'm dealing with and try to love my work (as if I had the choice!).

I was about to give up and transfer again to a new company for some financial reasons. But the good part was that my supervisor talked to me and told me just to hold on because I'm in a good company. He told me that a lot of opportunities will be given to me if I stayed for several months. So there, I listened to his words and stayed for a while.

Here comes the month of September. The month September was very depressing for me. You know why? I lost my second mom, I lost a friend, and I lost a relationship. These people were very special for me. I never talked to my second mom before our good Lord took her away, I was not beside her to thank her from all the things that she gave to me. Because of her I learned how to cook, how to clean, and how to do laundry. The basics. I literally learned it from her. To my friend, he just left the country that I was still in my home town. It was immediate that I did not even said goodbye to him. He was a very sweet person. And I miss him so much! Lastly, another failed relationship. I was trying to fight for it, but what can I do it the person doesn't wants to fight back? So, I just surrendered.

Here comes October, I just realize that He is very good to me. After from all the crap that happen to me. Good things came along. Like, I received my first bonus from our company. It's not easy to reward you some bonus. You must work your ass off! But then again, I was happy.

Then here comes the time that I'm about to leave my company. It was so sad though. I already met friends that are true to you. People that you deal with at work is very important to be productive. But then again, I had to move on.

The reason why I left my company it's just that I need to fix something. I need to get it right.

Good Morning Sunshine! lesson learned? yes, a lot! be strong in what ever aspect you are in right now. Do not ignore the challenges that you are facing right now cause this will mold you into a good person, charge to experience as they say.

It just made me realize if I just escaped from all these bullshits, nothing will happen to me. Nothing. So there, I made a decision. I headed home for the meantime.

There were no more hurts and pains. And it's about time to face them.

This is me. No one will ever mold me but me.

Let me be me.